This is a collection of words, in no particular order… from several sketchbooks and notebooks…
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Adventures sketchbook: (91pages)
In learning the importance of clarity, the process of working in my sketchbook has become much more pliable. Before the flow of and subsequent collection of ideas were – everything was, in that time, going to be made – now, in a sense returning to a familiar process that best describes how I write, I am simply flowing out ideas that contribute to a potential composition or series of paintings, sculptures, installations, etc. implanting seeds in variable environments – unsure if they will grow or not.
Projects strong within themselves – exponentially stronger as a body of work.
—–Do I have to be continuously conscious that there is a viewer?
Book bindings are smaller than atoms – the binding element is much more profound than what things are composed of – it represents an essence that governs how things are held together – not only physical/material objects, but intangible entities such as love, knowledge, and Being (soul).
Everything deteriorates – ½ life – finite – we are born and continuously decay – spirits within a bad host – animated but so finite as compared to….ex: rocks – is the soul infinite? – where do all the souls come from?
A time when the universe and our place in it was significant – what is essential now? – what was essential to the Sumerians? – why do we study? – generally, we are so disconnected.
Is all of this research; learning; everything, anything significant?
Shaun said, ‘I don’t see the sun for a while and it puts a weird mood on me’ ?
Gel flows out of experience through/within universe, through artistic filter and begins to accumulate a new kind of experience – potential experience – cycle of accumulation – myth
Somewhere along the way they stopped because their souls were overflowing.
Desolate, dangerous, undeniably dim – motivations, alterations of worldly visions – questioning relevance and necessity of petty interactions – sincerity? No clarity of intentions a brief overview of synchronous footsteps – disbursing a seemingly defined number of frowning pedestrians through the grid of concrete, cold streets, cold breeze – so easy to negate it all…(10.21.02)
She peeked from behind her book, the alchemist, gave an obvious smile (intention?) – eyes – geez.
Time slowed, cars blurred, time stopped or frequencies maxed – silence stillness, incessant hum of surrounding sound effects, further affecting our relation to our environment – for that passing moment the only tangible entities were you, me, and the stream of energy, embracing our beingness – drawing our thoughts into a dark, dense, primitive mix of speechless instincts – raw expression being channeled within a linear cycle; a series of distinct collisions of understanding – draining, diluting – breaking down our preconceptions of who we thought we were – destroy the ability to stand – or create the possibility of collapsing – collapse.
With the world as your stage
So many strong ideas – about the idea – but what about the strength of the painting?
10-25-02 lessons from Susie; have to trust people – have to put yourself on the line – don’t be such a hard ass – Feel – knowing that finding eachother in other people is impossible; makes it easier to handle others – most people talk about ‘things’ and events – that’s it.
The apparency of manifest cycles that bridge the layers of linear understandings of experiences and illusory constraints of time (1.12.03)
10-29-02 – selectively remember – absofuckinlutely must remember / be able to recall everything that is taken in – regardless of the fact of whether or not we want to hear it
every visitor to an exhibition becomes a potential inspiration – is part of the ephemeral moments of an exhibition – historical
how many of us (not artists only; everyone) will be part of a significant history? All of us?
2 types of paintings – 1. theatre/stage settings/ mythological/illustrations/speculations 2. actual artifacts/actual manifestations
books – recorded knowledge – multiculturalism – sharing of knowledge
certainly they were both aware of the reflection via the window and the fading light outside – the question, for both, was whether or not the other was looking directly at the semi-blurred form they saw – and did it matter either way? The eyes become dark circles, out of reach, unable to effectively channel their full potential
compost of organic experience
the water that falls onto the concrete – unluckily becomes relatively static – while the drops that happen to land on the trunks of trees get to meander through the texture of the bark
1.5.03 – chatters of temptations – the urge to rupture the fixtures of routine concealment – to replace the seats of spectators with red bricks – to construct an understanding – to decide where you stand – denying that there is any outside influence – no gravity or complexity in your ‘me-ocentric’ universe
what is knowledge today? How is it significant today? How does classical philosophy compare to today? Integrity of information in the age of information?
All we can do is learn and pursue our interests – that is the vehicle of life – “we have to be a part of life to be alive” (LRH)
Everyone just wants to feel and be alive
Knowledge as a commodity
We are here based on the history of discovery
The task of simplification
How many paths intersect in the vastness of open space?
A girl waiting her turn to say nothing
An outreach – understretched – prying between options – avoiding obstructions and potential constructions of unsettling interactions – an uneasy stomach and nervous hand – intentions remain unspoken.
The influx of technology dilutes the potency and makes the process of refinement much more difficult
Its snowing today – in the corner of the building the wind makes the snow fly upwards as if this were all a video that is being played in reverse
What does it take to define/describe someone?
Jim Morrison – the spectator is a dying animal
My vessel – my shelter – my cage – my escape – my welcome home – my refuge – my resort – my last resort – when storms of confusion break the shells of confidence – and as they fall to the red carpeted path, I return to that refuge where it all gets recharged, revalidated; sets me back on my way
—–Troy said that if I make art my girlfriend I will be fine
To be on the outside – to clear your mind – to reapply what you’ve learned on the outside from the inside – where its all available within imagination’s reach – blurred but solid, quiet but present – waiting for discovery
If everything were sorted we would have the opportunity to understand
If the folders were empty more would fit
To find your way you have to see past the towers
Tao te ching – when everything is beautiful, all becomes ugly
Faithfully we stand by our doctrine and the voice of precedence
One from many, many times over
Communication diluted by pride cloaked insecurity – a pedestal, a title, a gold medal – predetermined and re-established – effortlessly he rules his kingdom
LRH – there is no destruction; only creation overlapping creation.
12/26/03 – the poisonous wings of truth pressing against the pliable epidermis – being met by the resistance of ethics and understood acceptance – none the less that little bit, that precious hint, it always seems to sneak out past inhibitions and quietly reveal the true intentions.
On the sidewalk, two bugs fight and struggle as a bird perched above patiently watches
12.27.03 – tears assumptions manipulations attitudes expectations guilt trips silent treatments attention grabbing outbursts quiet assaults on the desire to please – fulfillments that never seem to fill – handouts that leave cold hands – I just want to understand, but time has left far too many walls to scale.
My suggestions are silent and transparent, weightless and cloaked – readily dodged and disregarded – curiously im not the enemy or……
1/4/03 – civilizations – these cultural convergences – the structures of intricate relations – teasing the balance of safety – threatening everyone and everything we know – advancement that is understood as necessary to survive – curiously and quietly suppressing the few remaining cultures that are still heavily saturated with tradition – while an intangible random number generator continues to feed the exponential math equation that decides where we stand – it’s sending us forward on this questionable path.
When things that were your reality become the subjects of an archaeological dig – artifacts
Intentions – underlying postulations – curious interactions – interrelated mental synchopation destroying doubts regarding time constraints and inherent inhibitions – breathless contractions from incubated possibilities; tugging at my understanding of the connectivity that dominates me
Evidence of eye contact and the potential for silent conversation
Optimistic authorization tainted by distances and apprehension – an interesting mystery – an archaeological marvel – call in the experts…
An aerated network of fragmented interaction – “that’s crazy cause I was just thinking of emailing you” – im not sure I will ever understand these fabrications – in some ways I hope I never understand
Judgment; training – based on training – my mind – my analyzation of situations – trusting myself – questioning myself – writing letters to invalid users – being satisfied by releasing – disregarding the receipts.
A handshake is inserted in the place of hesitation – the setting for this epic – how many acts are in this play?
Hollywood clichés solidify and are justified by unexpected experiences – certainly caught off guard – my words, abducted – vacuumed, muffled, mumbled – mesmerized, sources have long since been identified and crystallized – list after list quietly archived..
1.23.02 Unresolved accumulations; interactivity and its stipulations, constraining the open exchange of suspected knowledge
Assign dimensions to the undefinable
A template a textbook a customized decoder ring – a puzzle piece fitted by ridiculously accurate speculation – she barely works part time – actually, not even close; improvisational success – but success is based on collections of intentions – compiled, organized and utilized considerations of intentions set aside, she is certainly utilizing something and so my epic mystery continues
We cut down and subsequently burned everything we understood ourselves to be
I wish I could have the opportunity to watch people talk w/o inputting any energy or causing any uncomfortable atmosphere
—–What does this medium allow me to do? What characteristics of the process or specific concept make this medium ideal or necessary?
Streams of beings – rainstorms of footsteps – an everpresent monsoon – where have all the people gone? Did they ever show up? Is it me? Wait – you understand what they are saying? What is this place and who am I becoming?
Paintings about awareness
When I worked at Boeing the drawers used to fall out of the filing cabinets because they were overloaded – forced to re-evaluate what was relevant to that point in time
Give people a chance to create their own reality as opposed to inhaling someone elsese
Your ideas can be a commodity
2.7.03 – what is cold air, and pain, and far too common unhappy states – common colds and upset stomachs tracing their roots to understood reactions – when was it that we all stopped believing that anyone can do anything? All these submissions to outsider intentions – slower moving feet – these weights on our shoulders – the answers are on the inside, waiting of someone to find the decoders for all of this code: we are the storytellers, handing down what we know
good or creative qualities of war? War takes lives. Outcreation is creation. New beginnings but ended lives. What is creation?
2.15.03; bitterness, a brittle state embracing the events that once rendered a young boy helpless – a mouse in a maze with far too many facets elevates the relevance of decay, considering the calculations and satisfactory relevant estimations – the time of completion, duration of release – seemingly important aspects quickly get invalidated as the informants empty their minds.
2.14.03; stevie called my mom – miniscule droplets saturate and revitalize seasonal images that periodically hide behind the effects of an unused calendar – monitored, monitored – eventually forgotton – the rare arrival of even the shortest of rainstorms is curiously refreshing and welcome in a desert of dry words and empty minds.
Is there an outreach that is understretched?
Encounters – corresponding conversations broken and lacking the obvious stature that I think we both know about – but ive certainly learned many lessons in a relatively short duration – where do I get this ticket validated? Ive been parked, standing still for much longer than I would usually permit – this case is just so simply complicated and im pacing, virtually empty-handed, imagining the point where this cycle begins
—–The organized chaos of where I’ve been, what has happened, how I’ve arrived at this point – at cause over situations and destinations – focus – continuity under the surface keeps the path straight – as if I know where im going -
Information is based on nature – we exist in nature – in the universe – inevitably connected – one in the same
3.23.03 – by setting up scenarios of paper doing the things that I’m painting it doing, I am freeing up future paintings with the option to include falling or stacked paper to create a free association between new images and the, by then, loaded image of paper
3.12.03, there are moments when all of the elements and the essence of my surroundings, my world, come together with such harmony – its these moments that make me so appreciative of being a part of this weave of energy
3.24.03 – the protestors march with the pro-war activists – their mixed messages mingle – absence of bitterness – the satisfaction of expression serves as a benchmark for worldly understanding and coexistence.
3.27.03 – my creative impulse and drive towards my goals – driving me nuts – in the best way – but anticipation – mental activity – possibilities – so much to do – so many people to meet
ingestion digestion – I fixed you, you fixed me, I poisoned you – saturation, solubility
draw attention to the fact that nothing can be efficiently described – try to open people’s eyes to the nearly unavailable accumulation
e pluribus unum
sensitivity increases as a viewer gets closer
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120 pages
By tearing out the pages – makes the book unavailable to anyone else – certainly there is another copy – but i have taken the information and interpreted it in my own manner – nobody else can experience the information as i have
Projects that bridge the personal and the social, or universal – significant to me, but applicable to the viewer as an individual and the audience as a whole
Bees work for others indirectly
Outsiders benefit
Artists make products
True earth arrests true lead
True lead controls true mercury
Lead and mercury return to true earth
Body and mind are tranquil and still
(from Inner Teachings of Taoism)
The absurdity of a machine interpreting truth
What could it mean to cast something using the earth as a mold?
Swaim once talked of how Michaelangelo drew air. Outside the window of this cafe, the wind interacts with everything – a constant with an integrated variable – every moving entity is locked into a friendly duel with the wind – causing or being effected – moving or being moved.
Experience – derived knowledge – observations – sketchbook process – interaction
The clouds form planes of untouched physicality
Uninhibited, dominant and uncontended -
Im one of the many quiet spectators who pass,
Consequential.
Thankful for the humbling exchange of presence.
30,000 miles above the quiet vibrations of one person conversations
Eye contact probing
Attention dilligently investigating the engagements of strangers who dish out plausible commonality
Contextualized small talk to pass the time
A spritz of informal information -
Speculations, occasional laughter
Intermittent associations to past conversations
A drive
A desire
To discover the insides
Of internalized mysteries -
But who are they
And do i want to make the investment?
Circular investigations to
Accommodate roundabout conversations
Periodic solutions to oversolved problems
Contaminate quality time
Precious time
Present time -
We are responsible for today when the sun breaks the new horizon -
Everything we ‘meant to say’ is barely alive and the concrete records stand…
Monoliths
Decisive hydroliths, turning each new moment into an effect of the preceding seconds -
Pockets stuffed with a full collection of harvested experiences -
A hole at the bottom serves as release.
A spider wraps its prey in silk – encapsulates.
The trinity is born from stories
Images of ideas that are beyond my understanding -
Potential is understood…but it takes tedious studies to bring a finished painting to life
Take the extra subsecond thought to breakdown whether or not the upcoming words are worthy for distribution – weighing the options for a worthwhile contribution
Comfortable quietime
Just enough drive to find
The planner
The coordinator
The author of this fine design -
A plague
A self made millionaire
A peddler, a panhandler…
Their ties – a family of decisions running consistently from the fact that we do share a reality
Rhythmous reactions to verbal contractions
Distractions
Convulsions and resonating extensions -
Their customized creations -
Recycled books…
regurgitated memoirs of literary geniuses -
Prodigies, prophets, clairvoyants, martyrs and kings -
Established; underminded
Reclaimed information redistributed
For numb ears – openly taken as revelation -
Where has all the knowledge gone?
The sage keeps his wisdom to himself
While ordinary men flaunt their knowledge in loud discussion. So i say, “those who dispute do not see.”
Chang Tsu
——As history is taught at a particular time history is limited to the information that is recognized as history – future discoveries and clarification…
Dont be afraid to set the record straight
Be careful what you build upon.
6.23.03
Back to chicago after nearly a month in arizona:
An empty stomach despite
Two sandwiches
A stale quietness despite the summer sounds
Of three fans and a new cd
A withdrawl from the dream
To chase the dream
The feeling that Im forgetting something
Forgot to win the lottery and conduct a covert kidnapping; or a rescue
And now i have a year to holdout
But to fill myself
Saturate myself with this place
These times
This time
My time
Experiences in nature become history – some of this becomes doctrine
Excavation of information -
Accumulation of inspirations…
I know I’m going to have to sort through it all;
But all of this is falling into place.
Discover magazine, volume 24, number 7, July 2003; genetic testing at birth to predict the future of a baby’s health…
save some space for additional information
virtually anyone could be; can be responsible for a historical milestone
“lofty aspirations and firmness of purpose enabled him to realize the goals that he had set for himslef”
‘knowledge’ disappears in the face of a question.
It certainly helps when you know something about the source
7.4.03
all of these miniature universes that we quietly occupy,
Leaving traces of energy,
Marking our paths -
Documentation within our own congregations
The world, these worlds of ours -
So fuckin small
So chaotic and so exciting
At the time of Vincent of Beauvais there was limited documentation of knowlege/information – the overall presence of ‘the great mirror’, conceptually, puts it at the top of the list of significant images. The Fallen Stacks, that i also sometimes call ‘unfiled,’ represent a personal, social and global limitation of identifiable knowledge – not considering knowingness of individuals by themselves, but of several with universal affinity or agreement. Personally, it represents the daily, weekly, or any period of time in which an accumulation takes place and has to be carefully considered before being added to the basis of my personal reality. Some discarded some stacked along with my personal collection.
Dark to light
General to specific
Bronze flowers with book bindings;
By experiencing a vast amount of information, im able to make generalized conclusions and overall, pull something beautiful out of present time. Additionally, it shows my respect for and obligation to the sources of my inspiration.
7.13.03
Without addressing it as something that is either good or bad, i have been thinking that my paintings have had more to do with drawing than with paint. I am obviously in the position where i have yet to harness the mystery of paint – making it do what i want only comes with adding graphite or ink, thus helping me conquer the paint – helps me make it look as i would like it to with paint by itself.
—–”only 5% of you are going to be making art after you get out of school”
Those times when personal history is a part of a bigger history…this helps define a culture – great people do things that, in addition to existing within the realm of their own experience, are significant in relation to a wider historical and cultural spectrum
These paintings can be looked at on the obvious level as paper being stacked, falling etc. But the specifics, the contexts, the events – are intended to speach about much more.
7.4.03
Sketchbooks in jars:
Something about the materials and process of developing idea coming full circle. Materials converging with the conceptual. The weight of what a sketchbook is to me – xeroxed and torn apart – placed in a jar, watered and eventually returning to raw materiality that exists in the physical realm where experiences initially take place.
7.17.03
Beginning to wonder if the gel mediums that i have been using are necessary for my process. They have their own plastic reality – breaking the plane in their own way – but i’m meeting them at the crossroads of tedium and necessity
The juggling act – parts painted flat; parts ‘flat’ with texture; thickly painted; heavy texture – and add in color…spacial control is a battle.
The fluctuations of painterly motivations -
paper stacked, tipped, falling into place – the fuel of conceptual realizations the constantly revitalize the battle at the front lines
Settings, places encountered in a journey
Artifacts, milestones and relics
Sculptural objects from the epic
This ladder takes you one foot higher than the highest point man has ever been.
Containers, moving trucks, airplanes, shipping containers – transmission of culture.
Nothing grows in an unplowed field.
Nothing happens by itself. – ?
Time has gradually bred a lack of affinity – significant milestones attached with names of people who, for whatever reason, have very much the opposite of affinity with others
By digging trenches – gradually uncover the mysteries of me and unearthing the past
Series of work with the tomb of the terra cotta warriors as the underlying vibration
These paintings are helping me forge a better understanding
Landfills of lessons extending across all of the continents until each of us can reach out and understand the next. Common ground, common words, a universal language of learning.
The continuous burial of an ongoing autobiography.
Bury your personal history shortly thereafter
What is happening outside the painting?
Take your time to untie any expectation of things to find – they undermine present time – tie knots in the freedom to unwind – lets find calmness in chaos – discarding yesterday and forgetting what could be tomorrow will help to free us
Layered canvas
Layered planes
Of understanding – realities, transparencies…
A big mess built of one sided perspective understanding
To sort through the incidental and the contextual – to be aware of details that disappear or are never discovered – one person envious of the upcoming archive; so much to find, building ideas that seem empty because there is always so much more.
7.28.03
Embrace the abilities of the mind
Deify the thoughts inside
Untangle overevaluated ideas
Remove perception and redistribution
Of information
From the fabricated structures
Of pride and contention -
Contemplate possibility
Initiate
Investigate
Travel beyond misunderstandings
Congregate
communicate with the intention
To instigate conversations that build
Solid relations, pure and absent of third party deviations -
Clear words from our clear worlds
Disguised by flesh,
Somewhere inside our heads
Inbetween our ears we continue to inhale
Saturated soundscapes created by
A diversified human race unnecessarily
Oblivious to the candle light in all of us -
Dynamite, an atom bomb
Of fully articulated possibilities…
Ready and ripe for harvest,
Permeating the environment like oxygen;
Patiently waiting for all of us to take a deep breath…allowing so much more in
Tap into the distant moons
They are barely in view
Identical in composition
As each and every one of you -
The energy that fluctuates
With such imediacy;
Between such distant points-
channel that mystery into words, objects, sculptures and paintings -
Attempt to illustrate the things that have been puzzling me, dazzling me,
Sending me into trances of overflowing ideas;
Just waiting for the possibilities
To pour from a golden faucet – unstoppable,
On a one way mission -
A kamikaze headed straight for my mind-
Destined to be manifested.
Its important that the paper in the paintings is blank – it is absent of any absolute information – present as evidence of experience – not of tangible or describable knowledge
Entering abstraction by gathering the markmaking left as an inevitable bi-product of painting.
Submerging my seeing with ideas of forms becoming more than marks – forget about Art – letting the layers of paint lead me to their intended reality.
Freeways – no traffic
Slow motion
Hyperactive
Sentimental
Sound effects
Inspirations
Always protect destination and upcoming
Progression,
Forsight and intuition -
Im a medicine man with dust in hand -
Transformation of information -
I believe i am a synthesis
Of each woman and man that has
Preceded me
They somehow define me
Or who we might be -
The speculations of where ends meet
Which ends meet?
Why, when, how, and for who?
But i define who, what and where when
Im trying to find clues as to why ive crawled across these realizations -
How I might use them; where they will take me
Not concerning my being with when and understanding that ‘how’ flows through into place by simply discussing
And casually uncovering
Pondering, wandering-
Opening myself to absolutely everything
With the polarity of positivity.
quieting the qualitative judgement
That resides alongside
The quantitative experience
Of and for expectations
Toward states of mind
Or what i should find -
What should be evident and accessible
To me -
As if i know the results of an I.Q. test or can estimate potential – everyone has the credentials to satisfy -
To undermine the ordinary
With an unusual discovery -
Believing that they could all teach me
Something -
Everything becomes more comfortable
When i simply stop expecting
A circle
A spectrum of light emitting particles
Collecting
refracting
Reflecting off of the surface of skin cells
Neighborhoods of nerves
Veins
Bones
And our brains,
To the dismay of hopeful visions
Dictate
Elaborate
Mislead and instigate
The misled
To misunderstand that history
Is our master-
That we find our future
In the archives of the past/or
That in order for our order
To remain stable
We must openly assign or identify
The divine master
With the ability to decide
That its justified to take lives
Of all of the ‘badguys’…
But each and every one of us
Must must must realize
That all of our problems arise
From somewhere inside our own neurotic ties
To interactive lies between
Our bodily actions and actual intentions -
Crooked, cock-eyed, dismantled, out of line
From the inside
Deconstructing the outside
Disrupting the natural tides
To satisfy and subdue
The wrongly accused sources of what we feel
Could be, might be, may be
Our potential demise -
Lets all publicize ideas of awareness -
Educate with the standard of oneness -
Quiet the young mind
instead of suggesting
The frantic nature of time -
Encourage the search to become
Entirely individualized
No expectations of how much money
One needs to aspire to desire;
Forgetting the idea of a job altogether -
Cause the task of revitalizing
The mental capacities requires digging
Far past the sweet and enticing icing
Atop satisfactory living -
This could revolutionize.
The distribution of lost love of
Life, time and all of the above -
Try to deliver new found
perceptually potent
Overwhelmingly orgazmic vibrations
To the core of your understanding,
To the essence of your existence -
Offer yourself the opportunity to land
In the land of the truly devine;
the open and unlimited, unleashed,
Uninhibited, completely free,
Where you = me,
A place where our bodies look the same
As the stars,
The ocean, the rocks, the trees
Where you can always find me
Cause you can feel me -
Pure cosmic energy.
you will never find me
You will never know me
No books, magazines, movies or lectures
Can show me
Where im going
Whether its right or wrong
Backwards or upside-down
painless
A drill enters the side;
Finds the place
Where your brain is woven to your mind -
One by one we untangle the threads
That transmit your confusions
When you’re lost inside your head.
swaim to fischl:
‘it doesnt matter how good you draw, its about what you are trying to say’
Someone please lend me the ability to
Decipher me
What do i want from my work?
Nauman: ‘the true artist helps the world by revealing mystic truths’
Pinch me when:
Acceptance becomes a prerequisite to interaction.
Understanding is a requirement because our sustenance demands it.
Our spirits shake hands and accept the fact that the vibration is a constant that dominates all of us, binds us, ties us to oneness – when all of our eyes are opened to this.
When our egos become silent,
When compassion runs rampant.
In chicago, 31st of August, 2003 @ Intelligensia Coffee shop…watching people pass, wondering if they care to or have inquired or asked where it is our world is at in relation to time, in relation to how we got here -
Or where we are going, how we are getting there, if we are going anywhere at all….
8.30.03
@borders – reading the spring/summer issue of “What is Enlightenment” (magazine) – inspired by the future despite the dismal possibilities – reminds me of LRH’s idea of the dynamics of existence – after i left the cafe, a book caught my eye, a book about hydrogen power sources and the necessity to implement them – after this i decided to take a quick browse at what my favorite science magazines had to offer – ‘safer reactor fuels’ – there seems to be a deep vibration of progression…
Curiosity, interest, inquiring minds, eye contact.
Its crazy what a haircut and a new pair of shoes can do.
Of slipping
Of slating the possibilites of waiting
To inquire
To ask – intentions hopefully not assumed.
Michiko: ‘meditate to find what might be useful to you’
—–With the progression of semesters
Im finding myself deep inside this ‘art’ thing
This overwhelming barrel
This truckload
This barge on the ocean
Looking for a landing
But loving the waves…
A wide range of interests is going to force me to make things forever.
Millions of miles of interconnected wires
Signals and signs that
This is the necessary time to tap into
The accesible avenues -
Communicating to share all
Of our contextualized information
Supplying it for comparison
To a universal council so we may evaluate
The possibility of ever finding truth
Or a meaning to our being
Placed in this place with so much
Being placed right in front of our face -
…to evaluate the state of worldly affairs -
Make plans for purifying our contaminated air; patch the quilt that we’ve started to build; for the sake of humanity and so all of those who are children today will be able to thrive, to explore, to laugh, to live…
An enigma stands between me -
On the other side of my being
Is a misunderstanding -
Confliction
Reduction to irradicate
mistaken ‘innate’ qualities -
Refine me
Clear me of all the dirty findings;
Undermine my clouded establishment -
Clean me, dry me out -
Ferment in a bucket of pure contemplation -
Swallow air
Exhale me
set me free -
repair my wings and releae the condors
So they can glide beside me
Miniatures, memories, events that have interested me – snapshots, utopias, sets for events, past present and future tense.
Transformation of paint on a much smaller lever – sanding and scratching.
By showing the history of mark making and layout – ends up being an impossible event – i create a paradox between process and end product.
well crafted; no intention
Well crafted; intention
Shit craft; intention
Shit craft; no intention
Automatic
Incomplete
A time to look back
Ignorant
To fill the gaps
as a path
A guide/guidelines
A wall
A barrier
Stepping stones
a shelter
—–Art school as a world with internalized
Dialogue not necessarily entirely related
To an external reality of how things are perceived.
Eventual understanding through the ability to find clarity in selecting from a huge group of work/experience.
Objects about painting help to bring a dialogue out of the mysterious space that painting exists in – into a space that we all share.
I want tons of books
I want to travel everywhere
With a mini DV camera, a digital SLR,
a lightweight notebook computer, a satellite based high speed internet connection, a supply of sketchbooks, unlimited funds, a satellite phone,
In actuality, eye contact is harmless
Despite that burn that occurs when lines of sight intersect, opening up the prospect of discovery – tapping in to a secluded segment of your psyche – quiet, private, dormant – not for others to see – certainly not for me – to knead and dig – attempting to unravel some sort of mystery…
so donate the opportunity
Test me.
Embrace possibility.
A sketch of who i might be
If i weren’t stuck inside me
Trying to see how i am perceived
Or would be
By me,
If we could trade places simultaneously,
(temporarily)
Just long enough for me to see me
as you see me
With hope of the possibility of learning more about me.
Each paper in the painting representing a painting.
Relationship of art to society?
What do i want to say? Images flow through a filter of feasibility and practicality.
Where do transformations take place?
The white cube has the advantage of being disconnected from an outside reality allowing for a deeper transformation to take place.
The nest is prepared with the anticipation of a birth. Aborted ideas.
Experiences saturate me with potential to birth and idea.
—–You cannot reach the truth through a master; you can reach only to the inner master through a master – and then this inner master will lead you to the truth.
It is so odd to begin to think that i might be making ‘good’ work – the fact that it is being so well received is exciting, but strange. What is good work? I certainly dont know – what is a concensus of opinion worth? I can only say that what im doing is quite a bit of fun.
Miniatures – because its often hard to step outside of a situation or event – i hope that these may give you the opportunity to do just that.
Software simulation that would combine thousands of facial features symbolic/representative of the wide range of ethnicities/nationalities of the world – to result in one unified face.
Looking back and even now
Im aware of my tendencies towards
Sentimentality – the devil that historically,
Has escorted me to embarassment on one or both sides of the party. I just want people to trust me – reciprocate the elements that make up that fantasy – the one where everyone has dealt with their histories – no more bad stories about men or sex or unreliable friends – seeing the world in clear pictures, colored so vibrantly.
Im revolving on the outside of the circle – inevitably intersecting misguided particles…stuck in a bind of gravitation in relation to time – keeping me from the center where im certain
********************************************************************
Small black square sketchbook; (#3)
A cycle of learning – times when I feel like there is so much more – times when I feel idle – barely moving – times when im not reading or taking anything in – this necessity
What is it to be a ‘man of your time’ – ….or an intuitively creative individual?
Show me the integrity.
Scaffolding around a book. Ice cave. Missle silo. Telescope. Highwire/tightrope. Road w/ pothole. Still life carved from paintbrush. Deflated hot air balloon. Powerlines. Diving board with red. Crossroads sign. Lookout tower. Stacks of rocks. Ice fishing shanty. Forrest with circular opening. Repelling anchors in wall. Hunter’s perch. Yellow brick road. Airplane crash site. Bunkers. Foundations. Stairway to hell. Empty structures. Roadside crosses. Fire hydrants. Golden railroad spike. Cavern/cave entrance.
[scribbled out]
spirographic wormholes running frequent but inconsistent parallels – intersecting realizations – simulating mysteries that we never find answers to – leaving the questions open to scientists and speculators, investigators of the idea that there is something happening beyond our layman understanding – the ones who really know are standing patiently in the background admiring the flowers of spring – the seasons, the weather patterns – rainstorms and hurricanes
how do you interpret something so vernacular or region specific w/out contextual information?
Something solid to ride the waves of magnetism – something tangible to decode the rhythms of the universe
1+1=1; art materials, artmaking, evolution, procreation, communication, mergers… a culmination – density – history
a city of seated buddhas
communication and information; tribal – local – traveling – industrial revolution – tech revolution – truly global?
Works of art as copies/translations of experiences – intuitive working – art brut – spiritual medium – mystery – the fact that we experience the immensity of moments – timelessness – how has the way we experienced things changed? – more overwhelming, more information, more choices
Where the hell does my work exist in relation to the history of painting and sculpture? Is it possible to exist anywhere but here, in present time? True to the game and to myself – responding to being alive today. …to not get caught up in the past through mimicry – maybe the past missed something – not quite a thorough investigation – does the nature of cultural progression invalidate looking back and revitalizing? – neo this, neo that – I guess it all seems valid.
An ongoing mystery perpetuates investigations that mark an ongoing celebration of our present time.
Linking mind to machine – the ‘flow’ into decodable signals
Technological community searches for truth – puzzle pieces – space program – our place in the universe
Analyzing how we experience the world
We experience things at one million miles an hour – everything that finds its way through our sensory channels leaves an impression – a mark on a page of our autobiography – our collection slowly builds who people see.
Paintings of digital images developed for science magazine articles – used to explain new findings – to me questionable – reflections of now realized bullshit.
‘A neurobiologist understands every neuronal process that occurs in the brains of bats – would he be able to have a bat’s consciousness? Would he know what its like to be a bat?’
bibliomania
Aztec
Mayan
Spanish conquest
Childrens books
Astronomy
Early computers
Miniature books
Artist writings
An exercise – as you walk through the city, observe the built world and think about the materials and processes that were required to build the individual parts.
What is desire? An aching for a body – a casing carrying relative vices – a blurry morality for the purpose of defining me – 22 years of experience flow through me – who am I? Who do I want to be?
Physical emphasis – validating the flesh – the familiar – the obvious – recharge the mystery of being a being – disconnect from recognition – lose yourself in abstraction
The void of body worship – a drunkenness of sorts – envelop – fall in, the thickness, the blindness – a simulation that floats the boat in the ocean – realizing that there are very few regions in the realm we often exist in – repetitions w/in a limited language of communication – realizing that I want to speak so much more clearly w/out saying anything – without even moving – by means of signals channeled through parallels – a language broken down to symbols and elemental particles – a blink of an eye pauses everything I know – an eternity is reserved for me to receive the messages with absolute clarity
To hear myself talk – validate, solidify my understanding of my collective reality – built from eventful days, starry nights and adventurous weekends with amazing people.
It’s a big world for a single person with big ambitions – but then the world shrinks into full view.
Zanzi, ottmers, reber, ramon, tremonto, itatani, swaim
Line of sight
Reference how we interact with out natural landscape
Make the viewer the distant and ruling spectator?
Magnifying glass – transforms the scale and process of interpretation
Level of realism: airbrush details, ‘water is clear’
Do everything as a professional
Sunday, February 2nd – starbucks on Michigan avenue, Chicago – “angela, will you call 911”
Rhythms become identifiable – measurable in fractions of experiences building up to a climactic event.
Thinking back to the paintings that I was making before SAIC – the layers of resins with intricate details – speckles, sprinkles, fine tuned materials – something of a landscape in a different format – realizing how much they relate to the miniatures im making now – a roundabout in an art school circle/cycle – a carousel back to the source, only with new materials.
Miniature images of events at points in time somewhere along the line of the ongoing accumulation…
6×9 pages sent out to students and faculty to be bound in a book. – what about their copy?
3.12.04
is it possible to stumble over sincerity? – to look back with sentiment – desire the delivery of truckloads, traincars, shipping containers leaking the liquids that could contaminate the water supply – to open up the millions of sets of foggy eyes – crying over sad stories that were fabricated anyway – awaken the stiff souls to the passion fruits – a fruitful existence – the details, the preciousness and profound nature of interaction boiled down – a skimmed surface, no bullshit – evaporate the droplets of drama that congregate/collect on the underside of the cover – they soak the surface with worthless weight – drain the wetlands – discover a desert with only two trees – effectively separated by only a few feet – watch the wind blow through the bare branches – marvel at the buds of pure potential – the blooms almost touching, or not – whatever, simply laughing and smiling at the fascinating nature of present time.
Absence of vitrines allows for an unobstructed path – a mirror in which a viewer’s collection is reflected.
I want to see, to feel – a level of refinement
Characterized by: simplicity, economy of elements – just enough to say it – refined; in terms of materials – obviously intentional – solid, crisp, clear.
A mild shock, a surprise, an ‘ahhh’ in that nostalgic and/or sentimental kind of way – anything as long as it reflects some sort of contact – some level of affinity – a feeling – a connection –
Wabash avenue, Chicago – 10:27 pm – 2.28.04
Sitting on the sidewalk writing – a guy passing by says, ‘dear diary, I suck dick.’
So many wanderers after all of the buisnessers find their way home
Dark to light
General to specific
Big to small
There is a necessity to push on the walls of this comfortable shelter – there has to be a balance between confidence and radical reinvention. – a confidence to make periodic radical reinventions.
I want to make things that reflect something of what it is to be alive – today, now – what it might be like tomorrow – examples of the mysteries that drive us forward as well as the ones that attempt to pull us down into the cold – there are so many perspectives in this mixed up world – a massive passive existence – dismantle dilettantism – encourage people to feel, to celebrate, to congregate, to elaborate on the things that need to change in order for us to sustain an acceptable state of being without being careless, ruthless, thoughtless and inconsiderate – without fucking things up for everyone who will follow us – validating the significance of each and every body, form and manifestation of energy that surrounds us, because all of this is us. – it all shares the universe with us – but somehow, through a long process of slowly becoming disconnected, we exist in a time of a huge lack of awareness – vivid differences between so many of us – or them; you and her; between this guy and that group with those beliefs; this color, that interest, its all out of line – this is the time…..for me to stop writing – abundant complaining with a lack of solutions – im just like everyone else. How do we fix this? [2.28.04, Wabash Ave, Chicago.]
Coffee cups crowd a table that is empty of inspiration.
Two girls trip over intentions that are soaked in mixed drinks. I mingle among minds that are trying to mend a missing binding that’s secures the squares of an emotional quilt – intact, or just enough to prove effective – such a warm illusion.
The materials occupy environments of minds dominating spaces that quietly ask for development, embellishment to display the dense set of evidence gathered during years of being a being and simply existing in an unsolved mystery.
How many paths cross in the vastness of open space?
The idea of authenticity crawls onto the pages of sketchbooks in the hands of academic endeavors – the necessity of attempting to define something of the sort isn’t even a concern when there is no term in the vocabulary to start from.
Bruno Weber – an investment into the investigation of projected feelings – an attempt at untangling the undocumented stories – the unstated curiosities -
Dubuffet: ‘personally, I believe very much in the values of savagery. I mean instinct, passion, mood, violence, madness…’
Opportunity versus necessity – nearly 2500 seekers seeking something of an answer to the question of how to elaborate and translate – a camp of instructional opinions – the potential of further disconnecting from the possibility of communicating clearly.
No concern of the relations to times defined by what so and so is doing with an army of assistants…
Insanity as a blessing
Supported by the state or government
Virtually unlimited time for production
Free supplies
Assisted selling of work
The demand of original artwork – real art
What audience?
Academia versus insanity
Sustenance as an artist
Elem – ADHD – control – a system – get them in line
High school – find a path
College – prepare for a career
9-5 slavery
escape to be an artist
art school – crits – canons – a stumbling search – the art world – the advantage as staying ‘naïve’
a hole in the ground – rectangle – bottom lined with concrete books
‘…the inherent violence in tearing a book apart’
donkey punch
poopnoodle
so its time to re-evaluate my paintings and the process – to step outside of my images and my personal understanding – time to clarify – as if I was on the outside – time to add something that will effectively signify what im actually trying to say.
Falling papers to show the progress of history – the stack speaking in past tense
Anti art school manifesto: the advantage of naivety
The first time I read the dictionary I thought it was a poem about everything.
[steven wright]
book of rhythms, book of falling paper, book of stacks
the building blocks of true confusion
this morning at erica’s: the coffee maker filled the coffee pot half way up with coffee – now the drips send ripples from the center outward – concentric circles travel to the borders and bounce back towards the center – back to the source/point of the turbulence – expansion and contraction.
The water truck transports tears to the land of clouds where they are reclaimed and redistributed as rain that revitalizes the crops of third worlds.
My vision tips forward just a fraction of a degree – my perception is distorted just enough to wonder what the hell all of this is.
The nature of progression
The enforcement of: should haves, would haves, could haves, I might have, why didn’t I?
Realizing that buildings only reached the sky with the history of architecture along for the ride
Today I noticed a night crawler (worm) that had been stepped on at the bus stop – It hit me that this was the answer to my question of where all the spirits come from – We
Why do people have sex?
Procreation
Power
Insecurity
What is a kiss minus poetics? What is anything minus poetics?
Boredome, staleness, dry
Because it’s a mystery?
When is the mystery solved? Solved over and over?
Predictable, comfortable
If I can be less than interested, am I closed to the potential? – assuming the potential exists
Unification, multiplication, a perpendicular line that travels through two people, two parallels, connecting two circuits
The limitation of words
The poetry in everything
The undocumented
The undocumentable
For me, I aim for an art which would be an immediate connection with daily life, an art which would start from the daily life and which would be a very direct and very sincere expression of our real life and our real moods
[jean dubuffet, from anticultural positions]
3.26.04
last night I felt sad.
I didn’t have any obvious reason.
The morning after, my mom called to tell me that my aunt had been made aware of the fact that she didn’t have a whole lot longer to live.
Get established
Get comfortable
Retract into a secure and productive world
Rainforest population
Human population
Balance of energy
Nature develops
Nature thrives
People arrive
Nature decreases
People die out
Nature starts over
Robert Henri dies in 1929
Hans Hofmann arrives in 1930
Each element makes a contribution to the composition
Each material in infused with inherent qualities as well as a set of meanings that are slowly and continually developed.
…the void of physical interaction….the darkness, the blackness, the blank space and near inexistence of everything else…
why miniatures? Snapshots, memories, distance, vagueness of context, contemporary context of miniaturization, science, nanotech, computers, personal electronics…
fragmented attempts at building places that I’ve never been to – a viewer participates to fill in the location/context
“no matter what decisions we make concerning subject matter and form, the question of how our work relates to, responds to, and ultimately influences the world, is central to the thinking of any serious artist.” [Richard Deutsch]
a book of stories – individuals who attempted suicide, failed, and subsequently, went on to lead an incredible life…
the work of art should not be contained and fully self sufficient – the viewer needs to be the final piece to the puzzle – the element that activates the work and brings it to life
there are times that I just don’t want to be around anyone – with the obvious exception – I often wonder what it is I am even gaining from hanging out with these people – why do I bother? To occupy my time? Is it time to rewind to find the answer? Is it again time to sever ties with empty acquaintances and idle baggage?
Destroy the real environment and replace it with a simulation
Embrace the visual reality, but exaggerate the ‘fakeness’
Some objects/places genuinely addressing my interests and concerns – others mocking a built world – lack of clarity that could potentially translate to the viewer – real or fake – a mockery effectively simulates the actual situation we are in today
When does the ego start coming out?
Is ego a reaction to something?
When do people begin feeling like they need?
Man vs nature
= to infiltration?
Basing interactions on awareness of intentions – or perception of
Feeling into the contextual information and situation in general
Avoiding reactionary responses
Awareness of implied meanings – what is really being said
Materials responded to based on location of collection
Site significance
Sentiment
Implied and inherent histories
Ways to incorporate paintings – not necessarily a direct incorporation
Ways to use wall space. Ceiling. Etc.
How much information
[zanzi] less as more…
[zanzi] Taoist ideas as explanations…
one of these things just doesn’t belong here:
Faith, Peace, Chastity, Mildness, Long Suffering, Patience, Joy, Charity, Goodness, Benignity, Continency, Modesty
[words from the Dickeyville Grotto]
how do I use the space provided to its greatest potential?
The real me occupies a body that will someday die.
Idea and style of bonsai to depict westernized, urbanized, occupied and interfered landscapes.
Mounds/soil castings
Landfills
Ceremony
Ritual burial
My personal mounds: lay to rest selected elements from specific points of time
Shapes?
Casting material?
Cast of my body as it is at a selected point of time, buried, single flower on top –
Spreading of seeds
So that everything I was at that specific moment in time may follow the wind and natural progression….to casually make new discoveries and experience as much as possible.
Cockroaches will be here longer.
A tree is lifted like the iwo jima flag
Hofmann: plastic value in art arises as a result of relations of volumes in space.
…to say something relevant/pertinent to being alive today…
a single figure is perched on a cliff overlooking the exhibition of landscapes
‘the crazies study psychology’
what if clouds are spirits?
Objects that engage the space as a place/location
Not necessarily enough to be locations in their own right
Additions that are supplemental to the ordinarily experience landscape
Gallery as the location – lack of context – more for viewer to fill in
If they are going to be on the wall shouldn’t they be there for a good reason?
If these walls could speak
Gallery walls torn out to make stacks that serve as pedestals
Crisp, very clean white shelves – intentional and pristine – addressing the problem of responding to the space – confronting the idea of the gallery being the context and/or lack thereof – reverting to and embracing the fact that the gallery has the potential, to some extent, to be void of context.
What would I do if I was god? (in the nondenominational sense) simply an omnipresent and power ball of energy that was able to do anything and everything.
When is small scale inappropriate or insufficient?
Matter into life.
Life controls matter.
‘As we see reality, so we act,
As we act, so we become.’
[Barbara Marx Hubbard] from the book “Conscious Evolution.”
Adventure is defined as: an unusual or wonderful experience: a bold or risky undertaking.
‘when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change’
…then, solar energy became the primary source of energy – the sun god was reborn.
Factors in viewing: projections, empathy, understanding, affinity, ________, _________…
Paradise broadcast live to the world. Living vicariously through media. Reality tv. Simulated nature, simulated interactions, simulated reality, entertainment as life, experience through media and media as experience. Movies, Hollywood, glamour, glamourization. Reality television builds and reinforces archetypes and ideals; marriage, success, and romance…quietly emphasizing that reality does or should include CONFLICT. Cycle of reference – a search for the real. Reality tv and the miniatures are both about the ideal. Surprise, suspense, mystery…punch line sculptures.
Birth cells embryo hubble dust cloud cave entrance black hole
Tornado cyclone vortex spiral toilet hurricane fibonacci whirlpool black hole
…they’re like memories – when you are squinting and straining – all that sticks out is the event itself – The punch line that solidified the event.
…all of these people that I will never know anything about…
a friendly smile, neutral, not a shitty tv commercial, a hopeful reassurance that there may actually be an abundance…
‘you have to work with the medium – make it work for you – make it work for what you are doing.’ [peter powers]
a dream: open field – a village – a community – not contemporary civilization – warrior woman just outside the gates shooting arrows from the outside – the arrows were flying very high up and would hit someone almost every time. The area was very crowded. I found a safe place (atop a building and under some large trees) that allowed me to be close enough to the source of the arrows that there was virtually no way for me to be hit. People noticed that I found a safe place and followed me. I began to be concerned that the masses of people would compromise my safety. Dream end.
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…arrived at this point – this new dot on the map. Time to radiate my intentions and watch it all happen.
3rd day in Los Angeles – whirlwind – Chicago to AZ to LA – roughly an 8 day break – off to the job ive lined up. A bit overwhelmed. Don’t feel as if I can sufficiently explain anything. Im clumsily stumbling on words.
Default; a flood of unread impressions – im simply trying to find the horizon line.
The big picture – the big timeline – outside of general understanding of conscious evolution
Man/nature dependence
Remaining aware that these objects are operating in the realm of the sentimental – would it not be good to embrace that and push it? Too much information? One line punch lines? Stick to not so recognizable situations – a puzzle of almost recognizable situations – keep the active participation of the viewer – make sure that im bringing something interesting to the table.
Vicarious experiences: reality television, movies, internet, new media, novels, newspapers, photos, home videos
Simulated realities: the zoo, natural history museums, city parks, Las Vegas, Disneyland
Monoliths, mountains, children, travel and adventure, paradise lost, dwellings, contemporary dilemmas, sacred places, fragile to the touch
Images that have the capacity to restimulate our histories – activate the imagination and get the inherent creativity flowing.
An understood size/scale based on experiencing something; either directly or in a recognizable/tangible vicarious experience
The understood size of a reality/environment contained in an object – based on experience – allowing a small object to feel expansive. Peter Powers, ‘they feel as if they are really big or expansive.’
Ideal and/or sentimental: dolls, jewelry, trinkets, souvenirs, miniature paintings, Egyptian burial objects, bonsai, spirit stones, dioramas, model trains, scale models, puppies, kittens and small animals in general, kitschy collectibles, engineering models and simulations, infants, architectural models, precious objects, maquettes, icons, mementos, postcards, key ring photos, the picturesque, figurines, antiques…
Honey I shrunk the kids…man vs nature, curiosity, uncanny, mystery, discovery, imagination, control & the struggle for, simulated reality
Notes on recent small scale work: sentiment (‘ahhh’), ownership (im a big human and that’s the little world), ownership, intimacy (a close up encounter, 1 to 1 interraction), recognition & affinity for a situation, timelessness (as in lack of perceived time, stillness, quiet, paused), preservations, untouchable, remembrance, historical, ideal, no more utopia, pristine, perfect, desire to touch, innocence, curiosity, mystery, discovery, drama (a defined scenario and maybe an outcome), voyeurism, conflict, the uncanny, nostalgia, symbolic, celebratory, delicate (similar to actual world)
Materials: implied history, context, geography, sarcasm of synthetic materials, reclamation of natural materials; recycling in a way – materials that were originally part of the natural environment were harvested and processed in some way to serve the purpose of building or otherwise transformed to have some level of use. Reclaiming these and re-presenting them in a different format or context to make a point that they were/are natural materials in the beginning.
Finding the landscape in everything
Intentions: speak of contemporary context – encourage a different mode of seeing the world – awareness
Small scale; police/news helicopter views on t.v., birds eye view, an understood scale relationship to the objects in our environment (breaking this produces the uncanny), everything feels big when you are a kid, big fish, tall tales, the view from space (oneness)
The chatters of faces and bodies in a glittering town – the background noise keeps me occupied while I pass the time with words, lines, scribbly smudges…
Why did he pick that seat? The one in the path of the static stares – all those customers. Why does he always decide to face the window? Everywhere with everyone.
LA told me to think of a good script idea.
Elevation, conquer, challenge, triumph, accomplishment, presence
Such a fucked up out of balance misunderstanding of the fact that we all live on the same planet.
A pocket of energy – a lack of quality – a stumbled set of footsteps – a crooked smile – a miscommunication backed by good intentions and an all to strong desire that repeatedly seems to cloud all of the established and realized ability – a shaky hand and shaken set of words that eventually seem to mean a whole lot of nothing – unless it is in retrospect from the inside looking outward, back towards the point in space where the intimidating ball of equally accumulated energy stood calm and quietly waited for a coherently arranged set of words.
Vitrines – function and conceptual addition…
Fucking overflowing with misunderstanding
A linear accumulation of images and understandings that help to slowly decipher the misinterpretations; minimize the reactive events that have seemed to immediately follow the high/low point of far to many conversations and interactions
Nearly a month since I have actually played with any materials – trying to stay active in my sketchbook and keep the observations/looking on the right channel – along the line of thought for this body of work – desperately need to dump some of this into materials – the realm of graphite and ideas are not quite enough – my hands are bored.
Studio: Experiments, play, accidents, discovery, mystery of progress, surprise
John Dewey: art used to be a part of everyday life – objects that punctuated the stream of living…
The end product infused with the combination/cumulative sum of each materials inherent qualities and historical information
Transformation of materials into a new, original experience – the end product, Art, as the evidence of the journey.
Art: the conception of; the creation of; the life of
…the decision to devote your life to art.
Tapping into the space inbetween the obvious – recognizing continuity – desiring, searching for similarity & repetition – back to the idea of oneness – part to whole – one to one.
Avoiding becoming comfortable
Canonization, “high art”, fine art, general public lack of inquiry, culture of immediate results, surface value…
Ed Ruscha on responses to art, ‘Huh?……WOW’ versus ‘Wow!…….huh?’
What do you like? Why? What are your interests? Why? How did that come about? Circumstantial? Geographical? Social? Upbringing?
Writings on: development of a work of art, criticism, place, school and the idea of not being able to turn back once you start, playfulness in the studio, the happy accidents in the studio, the personal being the vital and most important, materials, craftsmanship, context of displaying work, politics in art
Identifying possible continuity and commonality in all of my work
Moments in time – significant experiences
Average height – commonality – reference points for building – scale – strength in numbers for typical/general/benchmarked understanding
Drive to create, learn, evolve, challenge crises, vibrancy of life, anticipation of inevitable progression
What would it be like to have no ideas? No opinions?
Im all out – im done – the river has run dry
Something as vast as the grand canyon is nearly impossible to take in from behind a railing – it stays in the realm of the postcard and/or the picturesque when viewing it from afar – you really have to interact with the environment to understand your place in it – it takes multiple reference points in space to build an understanding of relational scale.
Traveling, one arrives at any given significant place – or maybe the place later becomes significant based on some event – either way, you purchase or collect a souvenir – maybe a kitschy, touristy, mass produced whatever object – maybe a pebble from a creek – the meaning and sentiment that can be injected into a physical object is amazing. Im hoping to create objects that operate in a similar manner – by the nature of strangers and non-descript titles they will be something of a mystery, but hopefully they contain enough information to reference an experience that many people have had – approach universal – ideally of course – but, at very least, contain enough information for a viewer to make a connection and be able to have a 1 to 1 interaction in which that are responsible for partially filling in the blanks…in turn, having a very personal meaning to each person who takes time to take it all in.
Assignment: Ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing. Even the roughest of answers to this question will prove to be quite productive in advancing your thinking about both yourself and your work.
Assignment: walk around the city and observe the built world. Look at how things are put together. Try to understand or imagine the process that went into creating any given object.
Travel and the experience of landscape, distance and relational scale in flux. A continuous exchange with our perception – the continuous change of relational scale – a repeating cycle of curiosity and discovery. In the distance a goal approaches, a mystery – it is dictated by the limitations of our vision. Possibly speculating and making comparisons based on our limited experience. Discovery – realization or validation of what we already knew. Inquiries that are crossed out or footnoted with fresh answers. The wonders of travels.
…writing with the idea that maybe someone will read what I write and take something from it – the risky idea of taking any particular position or making any statements that essentially are marked in stone…not really though – evolution of an idea.
A postcard falls from the top of a mountain
An overcalculation with scrambled intentions
They allow someone to step outside a familiar situation – into a context that they have possibly been in – experience it from a parallel viewpoint…
Complete thoughts, quiet and contained – require a viewer to activate them
A small number of ideas transformed into a huge amount of objects and images in hopes that the overall body of work has a chance to effectively communicate.
Carefully recreating memories and experiences in the only way/form that can possibly do justice to them – the miniature preserves the intimate and personal aspects – like closing your eyes tightly and vaguely seeing only the pertinent specifics to any given important event – the filler information, contextual data is kind of cloudy – also like on tv when someone has a flashback and the way the cinematography is used as a cloudy window to the past…
A void white box is housing my memories
An expansive contradiction in the relationship between scale and significance. Like a miniature Bible.
Draw you closer and punch you in the face….
Inhale, exhale, cycles, fluctuations, dialogue, dynamic relationship
A sculpture existing in a space that is tangible – occupies the same space as our physical bodies – affinity
Exterior perspective, cityscape as an image, car .vs. vehicle .vs. bike – different perspectives to activate the experience – closeness and first hand engagement
The ability of a good piece of architecture to draw someone closer to the point where they have to go inside…quietly but forcefully encourages an interior/intimate experience – a building that is powerful from a distance and fascinating from up close – a balance of monumental and personal.
Somewhere between lonely and satisfied – I stand on a steel ball, sustaining my balance – trying to avoid falling either way…
From “on longing” – simultaneously specific (details, physicality, time
They operate on a monumental level while retaining a sense of intimacy with regards to their scale…
Pedestal as sculpture and not as a display – supplement the idea of what the space occupied by the sculpture potentially represents
Events in space – protrusions from the walls, floor and ceiling
The debris that floated on the surface of oak creek instinctively and automatically follows the flow, casually avoiding the rocks and boulders that come out of the water – yet another reminder…next time I want to be water.
The natural world shakes hands with man-made materials
Material that flows all on its own – a life of its own until it reaches a resting point – material characteristics determine the form
Allows for an open speculation of the original context and overall significance
Self contained, complete images with nothing occurring outside the immediately available physical and conceptual space
Isolated by the emptiness that surrounds them
Something that functions in past, present and future tense
“Like in any field, 80 percent of ‘lowbrow’ and ‘high’ art suck. The top 5 percent is brilliant. And the other 15 percent is good.” – Gary Baseman
book of ideas – words on a page – documenting the potential of an idea
the culturally/socially outcast individuals – outsiders – those people who you know don’t get very many opportunities to talk to people or to be taken seriously – the ones who will talk and talk and talk – strangers providing detailed accounts of personal stories – completely out of context – random events – document this – let them tell their stories until they don’t have anything left to say.
Montage of pivotal moments from dramatic movies
A bird above me spins slowly – a bird glides in spirals – the clouds are more of a haze – the buildings are empty and standing solid, so quietly – a stoplight flashes red and seems to serve no purpose – a distant sound suggest a single car – a man drags his feet, looks over and gives a straight faced nod – a leaf tumbles – a single tennis shoe dangles from a street light… (thanksgiving day, 2004, LA)
Writings about stillness, silence, emptiness, vastness, time stopping, delicacy
It has gradually become the benchmark definitive – what do you want from this world?
The release leaves you feeling so complete – much lighter than the words for which you received only a smeared receipt
…in addition, the diminutive scale allows them to operate on a parallel level to small scale ‘precious objects’ or souvenirs – symbolic sentiment
the viewer becomes a curious outsider to a delicate world
what a situation to be in – when you consciously find yourself in a definitive and/or pivotal moment…
rewrite everyone’s understanding of where everything stands – all I have are insufficient or clumsy combinations of all of the things ive ever wanted to say – piles and piles of random papers, stuffed to the margins with faulty translations – feelings sent through prideful filters ensure safety and continuity of comfort and stability – All I can do is quietly dig , continually sort through the expressions that are within reach – hope to make some new combinations that don’t sound too much like movies, novels, or bad television – listen for the buzzer, make a decision – make the jump from the edge of my world – stacks of papers in hand – the uncomfortable feeling of falling as you release the confused collection of words…
literally escalating – building a sense of movement with static physical materials – elevation, stacking, building upward
call response, cause and effect – word for word, hand over hand until the hands reach the top and there is no more to grab – the last word, the punctuated movement that seals the deal
we can build nothing like it so we climb it – spike a flag in it – and declare that it has been conquered
amount of materials or amount of objects reflecting the amount of human involvement or presence applied to any given landscape – the earlier pieces were simply a single place with a single event – punctuation for a short sentence of human presence – relatively noninvasive situation – maybe those, in a way naturally precede the work that I am beginning to make now – obviously something wrong, not as funny or cute…
seeking symbiosis
a man’s head is a shrub being watered by a mantree that stands in a pool of used motor oil
diminishing in scale – physical perspective
materials – inherent or culturally established meanings/qualities; Image/form – dictated by personal history and experience; Time – as understood by each passing day; Scale – in relation to our bodies; Movement – implied by form and contributing to understanding of the simulated time within the realm of the work of art
implied stillness or perpetual motion
finding balance and clear communication
fine tuning of scale and use of materials to suggest appropriate scale
frank stella – notes that a work of art can, and often does, fall into the category of ‘ordinary’ – too easy; not quite challenging enough
no titles or text on the wall – let the object carry the weight
im sure weve all touched her to the point where she feels violated
…like hotwheels cars when you were a kid – the backyard becomes a vast land to adventure on a small scale – a land where anything is possible – your little truck can never get stuck – it can never break down – never crash unless you want it to – so completely idealized – but so relevant to how things actually do work…
a young boy holds a globe and gazes at the sky
relation scale equating to control
playful paradox of the gentle giant
the gradual sterilization of our culture through mass production and a lack of craftsmanship
nostalgia and the collectibility of our culture – anything and everything turned in to a toy or a symbolic object
the symbolic ties that wont let yesterday go
a commanding presence does not necessarily require a larger scale
cut flowers become the withered relics of wonderful moments
id kind of like to live forever
…but how do I make something small function on a monumental level? Signifiers from everyday life with the assistance of carefully selected materials
an image built by recognizable signs or signifiers that exist close enough to the original source or picture – close enough to make a recommendation
different scales within individual pieces – relational scale contained in the object – in combination to the obvious body/object scale relationship – too complex? Too much going on?
Necessities from the land – vernacular housing
Draw some conclusions – don’t simply state a problem – show something past the obvious – make more connections – ex: ‘this is all fucked up, but…
Will technology save the world and make people more intelligent?
Humans from matter -> matter manipulated by humans
My feet follow the vibrations of concrete and find their way through the perpetual quiet
If the world was perfect would you dream of apocalypse?
Today I saw a homeless man sleeping outside my building. He was holding a small stuffed koala bear.
I saw a little boy who looked like me when I was his age
I saw an overweight little girl staring at her fingers – she squeezed them and frowned
I saw a man, roughly 50 years old trying to sell teddy bears at the laundry place – he had such a sad and exhausted face
I saw three pregnant women who each already had two kids
I saw a tall black man wearing a wide brimmed straw hat. He walked slow but jerked his head left to right – right to left. He carried several magazines, lot of loose papers, a framed picture of a vase with pink flowers, and a box of ‘mint’ green Christmas lights. He sat down right next to me and ate chicken louder than ive ever heard anyone eat chicken.
Most of the children here at the laundry-mat today are considerably overweight
A little boy and a little girl are dancing playfully to the song ‘Stand By Me’
Its crazy to see such a vast disconnect between the spirit, the body, and the environment – completely out of communication with each other.
Everywhere with everyone one to one always forever now.
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Moleskine #1 – black/banded
A tree grows directly under a boulder & lifts it up as it grows
A tree lifts a rock; the rock accumulates materials from dirty rain and grows a man-made skirt
Convergence of man and nature to achieve a goal
Opposite of how a tree grows or how a flower blooms but with the same essential movement/process
The apparent stillness of something with so much motion
Photo of the Douglas bird migrations
Snapshots of everything I have ever learned and a picture of how it all fell into place
Its amazing where my decision have taken me.
3 stacks of semi-crushed cars and a monk on top…?
An infinite number of possibilities and this is the one I chose. Here I am.
Skeletal tree stuffed with blown paper
Choreography – this beautiful dance of life.
The choice to be intimidated – lessons of ability.
Colums, stairs, freeways, scaffolding, chimneys, large scale palm trees
Mushrooms can grow in a perfect circle
A weathered aesthetic
“The earth is not a cold dead place”
a square earth – innocent ignorance of early development
mass awareness and/or shift of perspective only when the evidence is undeniable
wastelands – objects as a conglomeration of material evidence combined with historical images
snails carry seashells completely out of context
sea creatures that built portable houses from scraps
a barge or a large ship that carries evidence to all continents and corners of the earth
a falling leaf, a musical note, a beautiful woman, a flower, bonsai, a miracle, intention, magic, uncanny, perfect movement, controlled chaos, experience
an understanding of collectible and sentimental objects – exploit the fact that miniatures are curious.
…how we experience the landscape – collectibles – the sentimental – materials
stacks of firewood atop a mushy pallet in the center of a pond
there will be a DSM XX
soil atop junk atop soil atop junk atop soil
there seems to be a plague of complacency that has taken over the population – I just don’t understand why people don’t speak their minds – loud and clear – why? Safety, speed of life, disconnect, distorted truth and reality, ignorance of politics/current events, desire to stay happy, ‘id rather not be sad,’ lack of belief in the power of words, belief that it wont do any good, a candy coated idealized reality perpetuated by a substantial amount of perpetual bullshit, ‘someone else will do it,’ a big isolated world, lack of tangible reality on any particular situation or issue, mistrust of information…..not personally effected….
OH! Network will donate a whole dollar! – up to 10K dollars – and oprah is worth over a billion – one.billion.dollars.
Cut.
The way she (any she) walks speaks volumes – the movement of her eyes and the stability of her attention – the sincerity of her smile…..not eager to please – genuinely interested and comfortable with the interaction – calm quiet and well grounded.
“with no other intention but to pay a compliment – you are beautiful’
growth: individual, community, global
…to assist in the advancement of Arizona’s artists by providing an information resource and art focused venue – a supportive and creative environment that openly encourages the exchange of ideas and information.
“when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” Barbara Marx Hubbard
…it undermines the potential of a meaningful interaction
pleasurable or meaningful – both?
Not interested in compromising my reality – it should just flow – of course there will be some compromise – the little things – not the very foundation on which ive come to build on though.
Time and place – context.
The homeless hip hop bottle collector.
The number of paths that cross in the vastness of open spaces
When do you draw the line? When do you realize that your attempts to perpetuate this situation are backed by an idealized storybook vision!? When do you see that your hopes are fogging up the actual reality here……
The picturesque, the perfect, the ideal, love romance and its related sociocultural significance – pre-established, continuously reinforced, distorting realities, creating realities.
Questioning everything I have ever known & rebuilding a customized understanding of satisfactory living.
Right now it all kind of feels like a perpetual exhale – like ive said all that I can say – it all seems pretty level headed – as if I have taken in a given amount of information, processed it and integrated it accordingly.
I need to invite some new challenges – need to kick it up a notch on a number of levels – in a number of arenas – need more interesting games.
A strange change of pace. Time to rebuild.
I write, and word-for-word my statements prove to embody an evolving reality – they make an active contribution to the ever changing perspective.
Stumbling on stories built outside of knowingness and on a foundation of irrational speculation
The top of my stomach is a bit heavy
Structures: walls, freeways, towers, sidewalks, shacks, houses, fences, signs, poles, doghouse, shantys, power lines
Everybody and nobody
The weight of expectations and the power of implied obligations – the devastation of a letdown.
Where has all the fascination gone? Not that im not incredibly interested…but reading a Chicago sketchbook – I was looking soooo much – really watching the world – but also had not f-in day job – those were the days – I really need to find a solution. Due time due time.
Someone who readily takes responsibility for every aspect of their life and knows that if something sucks they are the one that has to change it
Someone who does not care that most of my close friends are girls
Someone who doesn’t let themselves be the victim
Not interesting in sympathy
Someone who will make time for me if I make time for them
Integrity, honesty, driven, talented, ambitious, confident, attractive, ethical, adventurous, spontaneous, influential, health conscious, independent, creative, articulate, good communicator
Someone who takes time to question things
Someone who is careful with absolutes and the idea of truth
Someone who agrees that there is no better time than now
Someone who is determined to be happy and does not settle for less
Someone who agrees that pharmaceuticals are not the way to happiness
Someone who doesn’t do any illegal drugs
Someone who can handle me being very direct, honest, straight forward – right to the point about nearly everything
Time and place of idea development
Boats rafts ships journey adventure transport
A small fleet of concrete boats for everyone that has ever been forgotton
Tonight I feel like I want something that I know I don’t have time for
In some ways it sure would be nice to have an LA companion – if only it were that easy eh – picky MF
It’s a big fuckin world with sooo many people
Discard all of your historical precedents – disregard the facts about ‘that one guy’ – arrive at our intersection ready for some clean interaction
The sounds of sirens tear through the silence
The heat radiating from these outdoor heaters blurs my view
A strange misalignment of situation and intention – when comfort entangles itself into an awkward context
She drinks wine by herself
It’s a strange blessing to have found tow people as amazing as *name and *name – the curse? Everything in its right place. So they say. Time has certainly been consistent in speaking its mind and letting me know that all of this is exactly as it should be. But maybe there is no rhythm to the chaos….?? Could it simply be that the significant events cast a veil across the downtime?
There are babies everywhere.
..and I said, “whoa…..its you.” F-in priceless.
Quietly observing – almost feeling like an outsider in this crazy world
Locational uncertainty
I cannot imagine what it must be like to be completely ignored – never validated or granted beingness.
I really want a stimulating conversation.
I want some friends that actually call me
Three leaves fall and land in a perfect stack
Become something
Make discoveries
Love someone
Never settle
Pave your path
Wander the world
Ask more questions
Make it interesting
Feel your feet firm on the ground
Clear yourself of misunderstandings
Build an empire of provocative ideas
An attempt at finding harmony
Rockin and rollin on the oil pony
Form, scale, materials, process, quantity, context
Process:
apparent – sense of movement vs static – example: poured vs cast
hidden
vital part of work?
Quantity: Multiples and the effect of…
Context:
Gallery – outdoors – in a collectors home – in a reclusive collectors home
The life of a piece of Art
Form:
Objective
Non-objective
Combination
Scale:
Relation to body
Relation to space/context
Combination of both and the resulting effect
Materials:
Original/intended use and context
Social value – meaning
Color
Inherent Qualitites – hoffman
Intention ———> construction process ———> end communication
The relentless search for meaning
Went to the ocean tonight (7/1/05) – while driving there I almost decided to not stop – to simply drive down PCH – it had gotten very foggy and kind of sunk my idea a bit – but I realized that I had never sat with the ocean while surrounded by fog – it was amazing. It was kind of like a james turell installation – but totally natural and, of course, included the ocean. I thought about what it must be like to be water – which then led me to start really thinking about what is like to be me – a human being – right now – or right then – at that very moment – so lucky to be there – so f-in stoked to be alive.
Form: everything goes back to referencing our experiences – the first step in experiencing an object is the comparison to our set of information – then we try to relate it to something
Café hoppin in Los Angeles California.
Retrieve the mystery
Marvel at everything
Forget what you think
Discard the comfortable speculation
Put in it’s place a stack of inconclusive studies –
Stuffed with information – but just barely enough to NOT draw a conclusion
Nearly void of dramatic games – thankful for such clarity of interaction
He leans in and gazes with those Hollywood eyes – she is mesmerized. She feeds him a piece of delicious chocolate cake. Oh the context.
What the fuck are all of these people talking about?
In need of support to maintain stability and balance
What is it that I recognize in people – the intangible
What is it about their space that I find interesting?
Am I inherently drawn to people that are similar to me?
When you order your food at the café they ask you for your name so when its ready they can call it out loud and clear for you to come retrieve the goods. Ive grown very fond of watching all of the people that stand around waiting – its really interesting to look closely at them in anticipation of discovering their names. Name to face to personality to mannerisms –
Um thanks but please find a new object of infatuation.
Careful experimental assumptions
Experimental assumptions based on brief but intermittent observations – an ongoing character construction
An environmentally friendly residential adspace condo cellular transmission station
She looks like she listens well
Quench the thirst of cynicism
Smother the fire
The guru does not need a megaphone.
Her social costume clouds the conversation
Conversations: balanced, unbalanced
Everything about her conversation and the way she carries herself quietly says ‘ actually, this is all about me ‘ – I wonder if she realizes.
As she pretends to be interested.
Biased words get relayed and gain the potential of becoming individualized facts
The responsibility is on the shoulders of all of us – to not simply listen to anyone – to make sure there is a genuine inquiry into the actual validity
Andrea – utopia and dystopia simultaneously in my work
Build your paradise while the world crumbles
Cross your fingers for everyone else’s contributions
Objects that exist outside of sarcasm – avoid comedy and cynicism
Our eyes to the sky looking over and past the problems at hand
Free to roam in the abundance of bodies with questionable merit – debatable awareness – rarity – such a consistency of agreement combined with such unbelievable presence – the tiniest – wee bit of frustration – beginning the game at square one – with a new pair of blurry binoculars – not even a search now – casual wanderings with eyes wide open.
Bare feet in an open field – no destination – a lack of navigation – no guiding star – but mysteriously comforting to have nothing but potential – no definition – no foggy predefined situation – a world wide open.
At the time I said nothing for the sake of a comfortable 3 way conversation. So now – damn those unspoken crushes – yours and mine – (so many times, mike told me to simply say something) – late is better than never (is suppose) – time, place, context. It all goes full circle and back to the center.
Much debate about the necessity/validity/enjoyment of this LA wasteland. What is important to me? Art, friends, family, nature, potential; depending on purposes
Building a contemporary urban junkyard
Parking lot tree house block wall precast white picket fence recycled cars oil spill trenches and barricades
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